Monday, October 17, 2011

Then there were THREE!

Now that my little Dobby (aka Kellen) is 2 and half months I thought i was time to post a long reflection of our last few months as Three! I was watching one of my favorite shows, Private Practice, the other night and beautiful Addison made me cry (which isnt hard these days) when she expressed her feelings of wanting to have a baby. She said something like its amazing to watch as every cell in a womens body is transformed and wether a baby lives or dies that women is no longer just a women, she is a mother. She is transformed in every way and I want that. I am honored to finally hold that noble title that so often we hear in society as "just a mom."
It all began on July 22nd. We were hanging out with some of our best friends London and Sky when my little contractions started to become more consistent and a lot less comfortable. I had had these moments of thinking "its time" and they disappeared so I wasnt getting my hopes up. I was getting a little anxious though seeing as they were getting pretty hard.  Friends left at around mid night and we got ready for bed. Jordan kept timing my contractions and saying, is this it!? By three I was covering my face in a pillow every three minutes and we called our midwife to see if we should come in. She said take a bath and if they continue then come in! Well after a bath I couldn't stand the pain anymore at two minutes a part so we got dressed, packed the bags, and hurried to the hospital. While all the world was sleeping our life was changing forever.
Long story short we called my parents told them to start driving and then got monitored for two hours. I was still only at a 3 and 90% effaced! So, they shot with some morphine and decided to go home and wait it out. All day we walked, breathed, and waited! By six pm I couldnt talk or barely breath through contractions so we headed back to the hospital and at a 6 I was finally admitted and whispered to my overgrown belly, Here we go."
Finally it was time for an epidural! I love that the medicine man says to laboring women, your going to feel a shock through your spine, try not to flinch. However, it went well until about 5 minutes after when they were sticking a tube in to drain my bodily liquids. All I remember is the nurse saying are you feeling dizzy or sick? I responded with both and then Jordan tells it that I was drained of color and then blacked out. He paniced as all of my monitors and the babies started beeping and the nurse ran to the phone for the epidural man to get to me immediately. I turned my head and started throwing up and thats when I came to haha. I guess my blood pressure bottomed out but after a hit of oxygen I was back in business, now harm done! Now it was just a long 12 hours of waiting.
Funny side not stories. I tried to have jordan help me roll over to my other side seeing as I couldn't move one inch of my leg by myself. He moved one leg and while going back for the other he was hit in the head with my totally numb leg. After trying and laughing for about 10 minutes we called in a nurse to help.
At about 5:30 AM I could feel a lot of pressure and quickly told jordan to get the nurse. You would think the husband would rush out but Jordan proceeded to the bathroom where he began fixing his hair and tyring to make himself "presentable". I know laugh about it but at the time I was so bugged haha. Anyways I was finally at a 10 and about 15 minutes later little Kellen slipped out and I heard the most treasured sound I have ever or will ever hear...my sons cry!
I have to admit the beginning was the hardest task I have ever been faced with. I was studying for finals, sleeping an average of about 2 hours, learning to nurse, feeling anxiety every time night time started to aproach.... I was learning to be a mom. It is a completely selfless job that I could have never fully prepared for. One late night while trying to sooth my little newborn and falling short of success I began to sob. It was then that the words of A childs prayer came to mind. "Pray he is there, speak he is listening, you are his child, his love now surrounds you." I was embraced with a heavenly love that I will never fully be able to explain. I was suddenly the child coming to my father asking him to strengthen my fatigued and warn out body. He was there reminding me what a parents love felt like. I looked down at my baby and whispered, "I love you forever Kellen. This world is tough but we will go through it the same way we started it...together."
 I am a mom, I have been transformed inside and out. I change diapers for a living, feed, do laundry, smell like spit up, and get to be the teacher of one of fathers most treasured possessions, his child. There is no greater joy to me than to hear the high pitch noises of my baby talking in his crib and walking in to meet that precious smile as he recognizes me, his mama. It is like watching a scientific breakthrough when Kellen finally understood that fist in his face was connected to him and he could control it. It is magic to hear him giggle, see him smile, snuggle close when we finally reunite after a few hours of being apart. He is Jordan and I's greatest creation, our most difficult and overwhelming task, and the happiest part of our day. Mr Kellen Christopher is stubborn, loving, and full of spunk! We cant wait for what stories he will create in our life's book. I already know he is going to be a great older brother to all his future siblings. We once were a family of two....then there were three...three is better than two!











Kellen was blessed in his daddy's blessing outfit...so dang cute in his lace!

His cousin Camden loves him already!


As an end note I dont know what I would have done without Jordan driving Kellen around in the middle of the night in his garments praying he didnt get a flat tire and have to walk home haha, holding me while I cried out my hormones, and sharing in the laughter as he, my mom, and I got shot with pee as we all gathered for a middle of the night diaper change. We laughed, cried, and shared in a week of experiences only the three of us will ever fully understand! I love you Jordi Lee and Mama! We make quite a team at taking on a newborn!