Sharing life....

A few weeks ago my school family graduated. It was a hard day I must admit. I was seeing pictures of them in cap and gown breathing in that pride of finally tasteing victory from an incredibley difficult program. I cried wishing I could be there with them, basking in that day we had all fought for and dreamed about. However, I also cried because of how proud I was of my crew. I remember walking in on day one seeing a room of strangers that I never thought I would know let alone relate to and somewhere in our seven hour Monday night classes, countless group projects and many study sessions we became family and friendships were created that will change my life forever. Was it just the amount of time we spent together in a windowless classroom with nazi teachers lecturing that forced us to be friends? As I looked at pictures of my crew on their graduation day I realized they changed my life because they shared their lives and liberated me to do the same.


I must say as I grew up I can't say I ever had a best friend, that was a girl at least. My friends came and went with different phases of life. Each left me with life lessons whether for the good or bad, but there was never that best friend. The day I entered high school my father left to Germany for the army and wouldn't return home until after I graduated. I felt like slowly my friends disappeared, turned on me. I was told my mom and I would be moving to germany after my freahman year. I lived my life with that as the plan. I said good byes and never ran for student body. However, the army is not consistant and things always change. each year of high school I came back, with the promise I would move within the year. no one knew the humiliation I faced each time I returned to school. I heard whisperings of my friends telling others it was all for attention. Along with feelings of betrayal and humiliation my family was dealing with some if the hardest trials we would face. I often felt completely alone, a responsibility to my mother who was left at home alone each night I chose to leave, and deep despair that no one saw. My high school years, yeah those best years of our lives,
were my most trying and lonely. The point of me telling you this is because I believe I lost out on friendships because I was afraid to share my life. I was afraid to make myself vulnerable and tell people what my life was throwing at me. I put on that face of life is bliss and pushed through, changing friends every few months. Now, don't get me wrong. I had great friends, ones that I still look up to and cherish but I rarely let people know me. I only connected to a certain level but the pieces of my life that would later define me and change me were never expressed.

Now, I got older and met a group of students and many other wonderful women who shared their life with me. As they told me their scars, current trials, joys and fears I shared mine and in sharing "real life" , deep respect, loyalty and friendships were created that still push me to be a better person and empower me to fight the difficult times that we are all destined to face in this life. Think about it, aren't your best friends those who you share all your life with and they do the same? My friends, we must face life together. Share your real lives and it will liberate others to do the same and I promise you will find kindred spirits you feel you once knew before, and most importantly sharing our lives empowers us to keep trying, doing more, and keeping our faith!

Graduation day was hard for me but because of my friendships and knowing what each individual in
my crew faced while trying to finish school, knowing the reasons that drove their fatigued and worn out bodies through each grueling day of school and life, I was so overwhelming proud of my friends. I cried because they did it and it was not easy. I am a better person, better friend, and a more driven person because I have let people in and shared life and they shared theirs. I pray that we will all endure this life together and celebrate our  and others victories that become even mor honorable when we know all the little victories that lead to the final "diploma day."