For some odd reason, maybe because it's all my life consists of at this phase, motherhood has been on my mind a lot. When I was young motherhood was all I ever dreamed about. I basked in the joys of being aunt and always silently thought, "I got this kid thing down. I'm going to be awesome mom who plays all the time, dances, sings...a constant happy party!" Well my dreams came true, I fell in love, got married, and two kids now call me mom and, To my surprise, I often catch myself thinking, "I thought I was going to be better at this. Where is all that energy I once had to offer my nieces and nephews to earn me the title of, "the favorite aunt?" (They don't say it but I know they think it.) I get lost in the feed of facebook pictures of moms making lemonade stands, sewing epic costumes and dress ups, visiting zoos, getting ice cream, going to Disney land, and the pictures of childhood wonder go on and on....and it doesn't end there. Then there are the stories. You know the ones, about how my 1 year old just wrote their name...in cursive (slightly exaggerated...maybe) and the "breath in all these days for one day they will be gone" stuff. In 15 minutes the cyber world has managed to make this mama feel thoughts like, "I need to do more. I thought I would be better at this." Am I alone in this...probably. Oh well I'll finish my thought even if no one relates. Alas, people I had an apiphane. This cyber world...it's crap.
last month I had a break through. We took a family vacation to my super awesome sisters house in California. I got to see my nieces and nephews who I have been missing dearly but with two kids of my own now...being cool aunt is harder these days. However, one evening everyone was getting out of the pool. My sweet husband took our kids in for baths and some how I got a priceless 30 minutes to swim with my 8 year old niece. We talked about her school and friends. We attempted to master the butterfly swim stroke....which looked more like a drowning whale in the end. We laughed and shared a 30 minute "moment" I will treasure forever with my sweet growing niece.
You see that day I realized the beauty in life is the simple concept that every day, hour, minute, and second of motherhood wont be sunshine and happiness and endless energy or we would never feel the magic of "moments" and life would cease to "take our breath away." I realized with my niece that back in the day all those times being an aunt were moments in my days. I wasn't their mom. I didn't spend every minute with them of every day. Really I was just great at "moments" in time.
So moms, if at the end of the day you can say at some point I stopped to get down at my child's level and look at ants or made them laugh by making Dino shaped sandwiches or made a rockin fort and at popcorn while watching a movie in Jammie's at 1 in the afternoon, or if you simply made it through a day of tantrums and hysterics (both mother and child at times) and ended it with hearing or saying "I love you to the moon and back." I say you are rockin this mom thing! Don't let everyone's posted (facebook,Instagram) "moments" get you feeling less about the mother you are. They are all simply moments. I witnessed this first hand the other day at a subway. A mom was out having a mom, son date. They got kids meals and laughed. She stopped to take a picture of their perfect "moment" to which I saw her proceed to stop and post it to facebook. That picture is all her friends will see, they will not see the chocolate milk spilled all over her and the little boy 5 minutes following the snapshot of perfection.
Motherhood is hard, it's repetitive, and lack of sleep, crazy busy doing everything and total boredom from every day being the same (stay at home mom problems). It's constant highs and lows but it simply has to be this way so that we continue to find magical "moments" that not only take our breath away but push us to keep going nf remind us how blessed we are. In those moments please tell yourself, I'm awesome, I'm rockin this mom thing! and then hold onto it as a reminder until you get to the next "moment." Remember, for this season of toddlers and babies is only a "moment!"
Ps as always I don't have time to edit haha