Lets be real....

Maybe this post will really just make me feel better and non of you reading can relate and you really will by the end be thinking...this lady is crazy and I'm such a better mother which you probably are. However, I need to feel better so I will write. I'm changing my blog purpose a little. Some of you may be thinking, you mean you might update it more than Once a year? Yes to that but also I want to be real in hopes that others will be real and that we woman will not fall into the despair of never feeling like we are enough. I had a break down to my amazing mother and husband the other day over feeling like I just wasn't measuring up in anything. I log into facebook and see pictures of Dino pancakes made by cool moms, major refinished projects, creative kid activities, their newest iPhone upgrade, etc. basically, I see everyone's perfect moments and non of their pull my hair out, my child just colored on the floor, the dinner burned, I forgot to do my home teaching moments. So, for any women who want to be told, you doing much better than you think you are, I am going to start doing more post on my imperfect moments mixed in with those few days that I truly felt like super mom.

My brother recently became a bishop and is most surprised by how different woman are behind closed doors than when they are trying to give a social impression of being totally put together. For some reasons Mormon culture has created a false expectation or a mold, mothers are suppose to fit. We must graduate with high honors from college, be an interior decorator and create homes fit for a magazine all while running the weekend marathon and fitting into the latest style of skinny jeans and heels. Don't forget about the photography business on the side ( with all the respect in the world to my friends who truly are amazing photographers ) and making meals fit for a king in a fashionable apron, family home evening activities, a planned and prayed about visiting teaching thought, and being the most prized wife with how often our husband get, "sexy time." Ladies this idea is not what the brethren have taught. There is no job description for perfect mom because who you are, that is the person your children need and why god sent them to you! Your children don't need your neighbor Jane, or he would have sent them to her.

So, my name is lundi. Yes, Lundi but I will most of the time respond to Wendy and Lindy because for some reason that is what people hear. This week my child colored on the floor, I took a very long walk one two days and called it my workout. My child eats processed viena sausages. ( they are his favorite and its not worth the fight to get him to eat the carrots I made him. At least he is eating something.) kellen probably watched more tv than he should but he can identify a circle, square, and triangle.  I haven't done my visiting teaching yet but I have set a goal. I say prayers every night with my little boy and tell him I love him more than he wants to hear. Recently I was a 3.9 student in the usu special Ed program and I postponed school with only my student teaching left. Some say I quit but my father in heaven and my family know it was a huge sacrifice that was the best thing for my family. My baby glares at every stranger that tries to smile at him and I wore a, what not to wear, no no this week in public... A college sweater, jeans and running shoes. Oops. I cried this week because I didn't read my scriptures, I didn't write my journal, and I only got to watch a few
conference talks because my child needed my attention, I love watching tv and really do feel guilty about wasting service time watching my nightly shows but i still havent changed. I often compare myself and wish I could be more like the wonderful moms around me. But ladies here is the thing. The savior said, be ye therefore perfect. However, the word BE, is a verb and most importantly it is in future tense. Every day we try again to become perfect. And in time, only through our savior, we will BECOME perfect. My life is made up of  more imperfect moments than perfect but it is awesome. It really is a fairy tale with lots of conflicts, happy endings, mistakes, moments of triumph, heart break, and more love than I ever thought possible. Moms be okay with your imperfections and keep trying. Trying to be better and wanting to be better are great things, but trying to be someone else or be too
much will only lead you to despair and trust me despair is a power satan will try and use to drag down our churches most powerful weapon...imperfect mothers!
From here on out I will try to be real. I will share my ups and downs so that maybe someone somewhere can for a second think, I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, and I'm doing a pretty good job.